A Very Kosher Christmas
by rainonmonday
Summary: His old, more immature self would have considered it was funny seeing him there, in the Hudson's kitchen helping Brittany with the food while Santana tries to keep the knives away from her best friend. / Puckleberry, Fritters and a dash of Jarley.


**I've read a lot of PR fics but this is my first attempt writing one. It's basically a fluffy thing for the holidays. Hope you enjoy it.**

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It is certainly bizarre for him to be back in Lima this year. And it's not because he now has a good job as a session guitarist – there is a long way for him to become the next Jimmy Page – and he has even worked as a backup singer when needed. No, it's not strange because he's been working in New York for about four years now. For a twenty-five-year-old dude who was deemed a loser from early age, he's doing great.

His old, more immature self would have considered it was funny seeing him there, in the Hudson's kitchen helping Brittany with the food - by tasting it - while Santana tries to keep the knives away from her best friend.

"Sanny!" Brittany pouts. "I just want this Christmas to be perfect because everyone is here and it's my first chance to show them I'm a good mom. I have to keep Santa happy so Melody can get her presents."

Santana rolls her eyes with a hint of amusement.

Sure, they are no longer a couple but they know each other better than anyone. In fact, it was Santana who encouraged Brittany to date Finn – no one thinks she expected them to work so well and have a kid just two years later but the couple is happy, living in Lima and just enjoying the family life.

Oh, and Brittany still believes in Santa, which puts a lot of pressure on Finn every single year.

"Mel is the best kid in the world, Britt. There's no chance in hell she won't get her presents. I'll cut off one of Santa's nuts if he messes things up." Clearly Santana hasn't changed one bit despite her steady relationship with some chick who works as a _weather girl_.

He snorts a laugh.

Brittany frowns. "Don't say that!" she hisses. "Mrs. Claus will get mad at us."

"Well, maybe Puckerman here can kick his ass, since he is the original Jewish badass and all." Santana smirks at him and then at Jake, who is pretty much just trying to stay out of the way.

"Maybe," Puck offers with a smile.

"Thank you." Brittany beams at him. "Now I think I'll go look for Finn and-"

"No!" a chorus of more than ten voices shout at the same time. It's funny how Glee club helped them to know each other.

"I'll go for him," Puck supplies with a smile that looks a little too fake. He's never been very attentive but he's not about to let Brittany find out that Finn is still wrapping up gifts in the second floor with some of the ex-gleeks' help.

He hurries himself upstairs, hoping Santana can keep Brittany distracted.

He reaches the bedroom at the end of the corridor and knocks in the particular way Finn told him to that sounds a lot like Jingle Bells.

Soon a really small individual opens the door, toothy grin directed at him.

"Hello, Uncle Puck," the small girl with golden hair greets. "Mommy around?"

Puck shoots her a crooked smile, shaking his head.

Melody is certainly a strange child. Don't get him wrong but she's far smarter than her parents and she's only four. No one knows how that happened but everyone is thankful.

Before the little girl can open the door wider, Puck scoops her up and carries her inside the room as she giggles joyously. He closes the door and sees Kurt, Rachel and Finn working on the dozens of presents they need to put under the tree. That's what happens with big families.

"Hey," Puck mutters nonchalantly while looking at Rachel.

Things between them are… _weird_. They both live in New York. They see each other occasionally. She hooks him up with free tickets for Broadway shows that make him look great with chicks. They wake up in each other's bed when they feel lonely. He gets her free music. Kurt still tries to set them up with other people. They hooked up at his last birthday party in the bathroom.

So you know, they are good friends… as long as her on-and-off relationship with Brody is off.

According to Kurt, it's off now and unplugged because Brody had a little something with Rachel's understudy.

"Noah." Rachel smiles at him.

There's no way they can sneak out and do dirty things in her dad's car. It's too cold and Santana would probably _sense_ it with her bitchy superpowers. He honestly doesn't want to be caught butt-naked in a car by the gleeks.

"Uncle Puck, why did you buy gifts if you're Jewish?" Melody asks curiously, even as he holds her upside down.

Finn smiles, like the proud dad he is.

"Please put her down, Noah," Rachel advises. "You're ruining her hair and none of us wants Kurt making us go through a beauty routine again."

Kurt complains about it but Melody agrees with Rachel.

"Fine, whatever." He releases his prisoner and Melody runs to help Finn, who is currently battling against tape and some ribbons. "Can I help? Brittany is getting antsy so we gotta work fast."

"Elves are working as fast as they can!" Melody pipes up. That pipsqueak is a handful.

"She couldn't have said it better," Rachel adds while her eyes study Kurt and Melody helping Finn. That dude is extremely clumsy. "But we should be ready quite soon. We just need to tag a few presents and everything should be finished."

So they work on that, being careful to write _from Santa_ instead of their names in case Brittany sees them.

Puck is fighting with Kurt about how it doesn't matter that the tags are color-coordinated with the wrapping paper (a battle he's losing) when Melody calls his name.

"Look, look!" She beams at him. "I got you a gift!" Out of the sudden, she smacks her little hand against Rachel's forehead, a little too forcefully if he wants to be honest.

Finn pales and Kurt gasps while Rachel's eyes just widen.

Puck wants nothing more than to laugh when Melody takes her hand away and lets him see that she actually stuck a gift tag to Rachel's forehead. _From: Mel, To: Uncle Puck._ The thing is barely readable but it counts.

"Oh, Mel," Puck coos in an overly sweet voice. "You shouldn't have." She's positively giddy with his reaction. "You got me a Rachel?"

Rachel's face is flushed and turning redder when Kurt and Finn snicker.

"Yup. Do you like it?"

He smirks. "It's all I could ever ask for."

"Good, 'cause it's a Jewish gift so it's okay, right? Right, Daddy? Uncle Kurt?" Her gaze travels around the room to receive affirmative answers. "And Mommy asked for you two to be together."

Oh. So that's what this is about. Sometimes Puck wonders if Brittany is actually an evil mastermind pretending to be a ditz and that's why Melody is such a smart girl.

Rachel rolls her eyes. She looks ridiculous and adorable with that tag still stuck to her forehead. Everyone knows Brittany has been trying to get them together since she found her _lobster_, even if Kurt has disagreed, telling her Rachel needs someone more _refined_ and less _lewd_.

"Dad is here," Kurt interrupts after his phone beeps.

"Come on," Finn says as he gathers all the gifts and shoves them into a gigantic red bag. For a while now, Burt has dressed as Santa for Christmas, helping Finn to create the perfect Christmases for his step-son's wife and daughter; until last year things were great, but then Melody decided to tug on the beard a little too hard.

Finn and Kurt are busy sneaking out the presents and Melody is told to 'distract' Mommy, so Puck is left alone with Rachel. He chuckles as his hand reaches up and peels off the tag of her forehead.

"She's unbelievable," Rachel mutters.

"Yeah." He smirks, brushing the pad of his thumb over the slightly sticky spot on her skin. "But it is a very thoughtful present, you know?"

Rachel snorts. "She's as subtle as your mother."

"Oh, so you got the Hanukkah presents?"

Nodding, Rachel looks into his eyes. "_The New Jewish Wedding_ is certainly an interesting book." They both chuckle, knowing that his mom's good intentions are not so selfless, since she's _begging_ for a grandchild to spoil. "Not one of my favorites but it made her point very clear, especially when she included a map with your apartment and synagogues around Manhattan."

"She's insane."

"I know. I'm a little insane, too."

"Yeah?"

She gives him this coy, sexy smile as she looks down. It takes every single ounce of restraint not to throw her over Finn and Britt's bed and end this unresolved tension between them.

"I have to if I still can't realize that I come back to you sooner or later. Always. No matter who I'm dating, I always put you in the middle at some point."

He gets closer, using the tip of his fingers to push her hair back and trace the shell of her ear, making her shudder. He knows she's not going to push him away because she's basically flirting like there's no tomorrow; and he has never needed too much to want her.

He kisses her. She kisses him back. It's slow and sexy, as if they have all the time in the world but then his phone is angrily ringing in the back pocket of his jeans, signaling that they are needed downstairs because Santa is about to arrive.

"I hate Christmas," Puck mutters against her lips, growling when she nips at his bottom lip. "I hate you teasing me."

She giggles. "You can't hate a present."

His breathing is deep and slow. "I'll unwrap you later. Now let's go before they come looking for us and find you in a less than decent situation." She smacks his arm softly, admonishing him but smiling so it doesn't have a strong effect on him.

So they sprint down the stairs, and he wonders how the hell she doesn't trip in those heels _and_ as he jokes about her being too big to sit on Santa's lap but just right to sit on his.

Suddenly, Brittany is gasping and squeaking happily and then is when Puck notices he's holding Rachel's hand. Melody is right there grinning as her crazy mom tackles Santa and thanks him for granting her a wish. It's then when Puck catches how Jake high-fives Mel. He arches an eyebrow at his brother who is now walking towards him.

"It was about time, huh?" Jake claps a hand over Puck's shoulder. "Have a very kosher Christmas, brother."

Puck chuckles while Rachel tugs his arm so he sits down on a chair and she claims the promised spot in his lap while Jake sits on the floor with one arm wrapped around Marley. Both men share a smile before Burt in his Santa costume starts pulling gifts out of his bag.

_- the end._


End file.
